Back to the Future...

The biggest discussion in our home these last few days is what the future holds for us. We haven't had much luck with the past and it really makes us question our future if we don't change the path we have been following.
The outlook being: if we continue to put all of our efforts into wanting to parent, what happens when we wake up in 15 years and are still empty handed? Will we regret not trying harder or will we be perfectly content with not being parents? This question has made me think about things as i never thought that way until my husband mentioned it. This really makes you look at the positives and negatives of being childless.
If we were to decide to be childless, what would we do with our lives then. We could travel more since we wouldn't try and save every last penny just to pay for adoption or treatments. We could do more volunteer work to help fulfill the void of nurturing in our lives that we have so much longed for. Missionary work was a great topic of conversation.. Who knew we would even consider these things!
When we talk about waking up in 15 years and getting the feeling of wasting our lives on trying to build a family, we are talking about how unhappy it makes us feel. This is the most depressing struggles we have had to endure. When focusing on trying to build a family, the negatives always come to mind. All the feelings of hurt and depression come to the plate and remind you of the all the failed months. The reason we think of them as failed months is according to a woman's cycle (for those who felt to understand why people always say months).
Or do we change the path we are on immediately and start a happier lifestyle? Don't get me wrong, we are happy together, just not happy about how life has been for us. Some say don't give up, but who really can say they won't after all the failed news and then a failed adoption. Is this a sign we are to do something different in our lives? Are we meant to do something other than being parents? If this is true, we could be happy travelers an not have responsibility for the rest of our lives... Maybe that could be a good thing! There may be a tiny sadness of never having children in 15 years, but will we regret it... Possibly! This is why we aren't sure what we should do with ourselves at this point.
Though, we seem confused now, maybe some day things will be clearer. Maybe by blogging, this will help us see things clearer. Only time and patience will tell...