10 Months

Happy 10 months to my babies!!

Daddy was having a tough weekend with his health so we ended it with cuddling in bed with him!

Getting in shape!

Okay, so I still have a long ways to go from the standpoint of someone who is already fit, but I am looking good from where I started. Being a fit mommy has always been my goal. Here I am, 9 months post twins and back to my pre baby weight. Doesn't seem like much, but I lost 20 pounds right before getting pregnant using a weight loss shake. This time, it's all on my own!! Exercise and eating right has put me back to my "almost bikini" weight. I may never be able to wear a bikini like I did the summer I got pregnant (due to enormous amounts of stretch marks), but I will carry my body and babies proudly! Here's to my family, eating right, and my 5:30 am boot camp group. The greatest class I have ever dedicated myself to.

Happy 2014!!!

How are YOU doing?

I'll be honest, I don't know if anyone reads my blog anymore or if anyone even still "blogs". It is a great way to share events and news as well as your thoughts with others. Today I will share what is on my mind.

 There are many cases out there of families struggling in one way or another. Mine happens to be my husbands illness. Some days he can't get out of her and others we can do fun family things. The funner days are getting to be more than the bad days thanks to medications. I'll tell you though, I feel soo awful for him and know it's not a walk in the park. Not for any of us.

 One question I am always asked is, "how is Derek doing?". For me, I am used to this and can be quick to answer. This happens often since he can go up and down on feeling well. There are rare times that these words come out, "How are you doing with all of this?". BOOM! ...What? I am caught off guard and don't know how to respond. Did somebody really just ask about me? Hmmm. 

 Here is the truth, I am managing. For better or worse, those vows are strong. I love my husband and I try my best. It's exhausting being a single mom to twins when my husband needs to be in bed. It's scary to think about doing things alone. I surely wish we had more help. I think he is an amazing dad and does more than he should when feeling yucky. Me? Well, I am exhausted and at times want to cry. I get frustrated when I'm left alone so he can rest, but he really does need it. It's amazing how I can't answer that question so easily! 

 Here is the thing, just being asked that question is enough to melt my heart. It is very rare and I remember the very first time I was asked that. It was 3-4 months after his diagnoses that I was asked how I was doing. My response: I started to cry in relief knowing someone cared how I felt. 

 I think of this as a hope that everyone takes time to think of who all is part of a situation. Stop and ask everyone how they are feeling and not just the sole person. Everyone is suffering in some way and it's important to make them priority too. Spouses are a huge support system and they deserve acknowledgment as well. 

9 months

Gage and Zoey are 9 months and counting. So thankful for them, but they are growing way too quickly.