Here we are two and a half months away from our expectant mom's due date. We will not say her name as for her own privacy. This has been the scariest past couple of months we could ever imagine.
Adoption is a wonderful opportunity for a lot of couples and the families they bring into their lives. It just has soo many ups and downs that you aren't sure what to feel. Sometimes you just have to tune out and keep moving along because something else can change along the way.
It started a few months ago when my niece called me on my way home from work. She told me of a wonderful gal that she is friends with that was thinking about adoption. I was hysterical! Could this be all it took? We really wouldn't need to pay 30k to an agency?? If this was true, please give her our info and let her know we are here if she would like an open adoption. As great as this sounded, we continued with the plan to go through an agency in spring. We didn't want to be set on something that was so far from our hands. We took it with a "grain of salt" because at this point, we have been through so much hell in our lives that we didn't have much hope for things to come that simple.
Weeks passed without ever hearing a word of news. This made us believe that we were definitely going through an agency and the mother has decided against adoption. We were okay with this because we never let down our guard. We hoped that things would work out, but knew that it was a long shot.
Then my niece called to tell us what the mother was having. She said, It's a Boy!! We again didn't have much to say because we weren't sure what was going to happen. We said that as exciting as it is for her to tell us, we have not heard from the expectant mother. We just assumed she was going to keep the baby (again weren't expecting anything). This was our way of keeping a distance from the news so we weren't getting our hopes up. Don't get me wrong, I have talked with several adopters whom say this is the best form of open adoption due to contact. It was just hard to believe.
Finally, After Thanksgiving she called!! The expectant mother called and seemed so alive and excited to share the news with us. She was very mature about the situation and it surprised us deeply. She was aware of how our feelings would be if she involved us in her decision so she thought about it for a long time before making her decision. When she did, that is when she chose us over going to an agency. She explained to us the situation and what she had in mind. This was exactly what we were looking for. In the end, she explained how this felt like a gift to us from her. Something we have always dreamed of, but couldn't have all on our own. It was a greater feeling than any normal person could ever feel. She actually made me want to cry. I have never heard such powerful words from anyone in our entire journey. All it took was this one woman... From there we made a plan to meet in person to be sure this is what we wanted as well as her. This isn't just about her "choosing" us. We have to know that it is something we can handle all on our own. That we can be comfortable with this family long term so we can share the openness.
A week and a half later we drove the hour drive to meet the wonderful girl and her mother. We were very excited and nervous about what we would say or do. Upon meeting them it was a little awkward, but that all went away after ten minutes of conversation. Next thing we know, five hours went by and we were all shocked that it was time to depart. There was so much to talk about and go over that we mostly just talked and had a wonderful conversation on our likes and interests. Derek and I left feeling very confident about what was to come in our lives.
Though, there are always things that get in the way and put things on hold, we were ready to start prepping. It was fantastic to finally be able to do something for ourselves that we have always been doing for everyone else... Buy baby stuff!! Derek was finally feeling excited and took the day off work to go baby shopping. It made me cry, for we have never been able to have these feelings of joy. When we went shopping though, It was very overwhelming! We didn't know where stuff was and what stores to shop at. It almost felt surreal. In the end, we had a wonderful day and were overjoyed with the concept of bringing stuff home to prep a nursery!
Here we are into the new year. We have two and a half months until Baby K comes into the world. Though, we never know who or what can get into the way of our dreams, we will fight for him and keep our hearts open until things are finalized. We are very much thinking of him as ours (Mine, Derek's, and The expectant parents). We can't wait to share this journey with everyone and watch our little guy grow to be a wonderful adult.
For now, I walk past the nursery often and even walk in to see what little tweak I can do in the closet for storage. At this point, we have realized that we are, what we believe as nesting. Who knew that adoptive parent's nest too? It is an amazing feeling being able to prep for a nursery after years of planning one in your head. The one thing I find differently now that it is happening, I can live with the basics as long as he comes home to be in my arms! We haven't completed it as we want to wait until he is home to have a shower. We have the basics until our shower completes the odds and ins. Luckily for us, we have had a great support system. Lot's of people are routing for A.J.K (Yes, we have a name picked out that has special meaning to our situation that will share eventually I'm sure) to be ours and give us our one chance at parenting that we have asked for, for many years!
At this time, We want to take the time to thank J (Expectant Mother) for choosing us. We will forever hold you in our hearts no matter what happens. We love talking with you and you mom. We can't wait for our families to be forever bonded by that little guy you are caring for in your belly! We also want tot thank my niece for being so wonderful and caring enough to mention us to your friend without any hesitation. We love you all and let's look forward to this wonderful journey... As I cry now! lol.
