From Early Childhood Educator and several friends with kids later we have truly learned what will be important as parents. I have heard it all from people as to what they want and what they think is right... What is right??
Sometimes couples try so hard to come off as "perfect" parents when we all know that everyone has struggles and others just really don't care what other's think. Some parents are more of coddlers (you hover over every little scratch and bruise and causes your child to cry when you acknowledge it) than cuddlers (you let your child wipe off their dirt and just cuddle during a movie or good book). Then there are some who just buy things constantly for their children and don't understand why they throw a fit if you forget that one time to buy a toy (almost like you are buying their love).
Here is us.. We aren't sure where we will be when our time comes, but do know that we will try and not be the parent's we have learned from. We will allow our child to watch PG13 movies and enjoy family movie night as we all know that those minor jokes totally go over a 3 year olds head. They are more into the moment and not the total detail of a movie.
We know we won't act like the perfect parents in public and make sure our child is dressed for church every day of the week... Who are we trying to impress?? The neighborhood watch program? Do they judge families now??
We know we will be saying "wipe it off" more often than some because sometimes the crying is just more than just being sore. Sometimes it's just because they are used to being coddled.
We may do some spoiling from all the years of being deprived, but know that it is not right to buy our child a toy every time we walk into a store. This does include junk food. <<< Total other topic as I have seen much damage to children from this.
Mostly, I just want to share how much infertility has made us realize that we will appreciate our children. Parent's complain A LOT about their children.. Sometimes it's for things that really aren't that big of a deal. Some complain about how much their babies are up at night in the beginning (isn't this expected when you plan on having a baby?). I anticipate all those sleepless nights and forgetting to put on socks in the morning because I'm so out of it. There are many more things that could be said, but I mostly just want to say how much I would appreciate a "poopy" diaper or five!
The reality is that some people go into parenthood by accident and spend the whole way complaining about it and others spend years trying to get into the "parenthood club". This gives them many years to sit and ponder what kind of parents they want to be. It is amazing how your views in life can change after you have to sit on things for so long...
By the way "Parenthood Club" is referred to as all the people who have kids in common so they get to have play dates constantly.. Like a "club"... You can be invited even if you don't have children, but be prepared to have nothing in common with the conversations!
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