There are many cases out there of families struggling in one way or another. Mine happens to be my husbands illness. Some days he can't get out of her and others we can do fun family things. The funner days are getting to be more than the bad days thanks to medications. I'll tell you though, I feel soo awful for him and know it's not a walk in the park. Not for any of us.
One question I am always asked is, "how is Derek doing?". For me, I am used to this and can be quick to answer. This happens often since he can go up and down on feeling well. There are rare times that these words come out, "How are you doing with all of this?". BOOM! ...What? I am caught off guard and don't know how to respond. Did somebody really just ask about me? Hmmm.
Here is the truth, I am managing. For better or worse, those vows are strong. I love my husband and I try my best. It's exhausting being a single mom to twins when my husband needs to be in bed. It's scary to think about doing things alone. I surely wish we had more help. I think he is an amazing dad and does more than he should when feeling yucky. Me? Well, I am exhausted and at times want to cry. I get frustrated when I'm left alone so he can rest, but he really does need it. It's amazing how I can't answer that question so easily!
Here is the thing, just being asked that question is enough to melt my heart. It is very rare and I remember the very first time I was asked that. It was 3-4 months after his diagnoses that I was asked how I was doing. My response: I started to cry in relief knowing someone cared how I felt.
I think of this as a hope that everyone takes time to think of who all is part of a situation. Stop and ask everyone how they are feeling and not just the sole person. Everyone is suffering in some way and it's important to make them priority too. Spouses are a huge support system and they deserve acknowledgment as well.
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